BEING MEDIOCRELY MULTI-TALENTED 2: ADHD AND THE PURSUIT OF PUSSIES

As my professor keeps yelling, (I suspect, even while asleep) we need to push our limits constantly. And we, as obedient students of the order, follow it to the hilt. We make it a point to gulp whisky from Coca-Cola bottles in the classroom, never mind the pickle-like aftertaste. We like to see off  out-of-town classmates from airports and railway stations at the end of every term. Correction: We like the act of seeing them off because it is usually accompanied by a round of boisterous hop-and-skip by the outgoing convict that passes off as dance, or a satiating sleepover session near the airport pavement. While at it, we will play dumb charades, regardless of how juvenile we appear to passers-by. Our syllabus gives us the licence to experiment with everything in the name of art and aesthetics. One of us, called ADHD, likes to extend the adage of pushing limits to relationships too.

First things first. ADHD is no way her real name. (We have a history of weird names, though. One of my juniors is supposed to be called Lithium). Her name, in fact, is the Sanskrit equivalent of dusk. Contrary to the implied meaning of her name, she detests everything dark, black and sombre. (At least, she says so)And in literal congruence to her name, she suffers from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). You know the personal assistant in a corporate presentation who will raise a dumb doubt in a meeting only to make others notice her lipstick colour. Or, the girl who will fake falling beside your desk just that your eyeballs roll on the waxed legs. She is that type. While she does all of those eyeball-hogging antics, her dwarf-like height comes to her rescue. Consequently, your first impression of ADHD ends up being that of a kid trying to fit into her grown-up clothes. Truth be told, she is anything but that.

My heart goes out though for her boyfriend, The Ant. Before they started going out, he was the epitome of the beer-guzzling, couldn’t-care-less brat who did things as he wanted it. Along the way, he was one of the brightest minds in film-making since the inception of the course. He had his principles in life – guys he never ventured even a mile close to, time for friends that nothing could replace, secrets he would hardly divulge, wimpies he mocked and ridiculed at every go. The transformation, six months into the relationship, has been nothing short of astounding. He likes to tag along with her to hookah sessions with the wimpies, meeting his beer buddies only when he has had a fight, or drag them along when he desperately needs company. Somebody needs to tell him that uploading embarrassing videos of your mates is tantamount to breaking the lads’ code.

Everything is justified, for love and a laugh. Correction: Everything is justified to make your love laugh. Even if the affection and indulgence remains a one-way street, for much of the time. He forsook the chance to watch Avatar on a 3-D screen to do help her out with her chores. This coming from a connoisseur and creator of films confirmed my most obnoxious of fears. The Ant’s transformation into a pussy-pursuer stood complete at that juncture.

Everything that happens in life is a unique experience, one that needs to be absorbed in the pursuit of art and innovation - another of the aphorisms that our Papa professor likes to throw at us every now and then. The list of maladies however, is not restricted to these two in the course. There are energy-suckers and then there are befuddled dweebs. But this post deserves to end in memory of the beer-guzzling brat who passed away with his long locks and hoarse abuses. Not that The Ant would give a shit about it though.